Bleach Jeopardy
by narubleach
Summary: The Bleach cast are having a game show for entertainment.With Ichigo or other character as your host and contestant.No pairings except Toshiro and Uryuu fighting quarlling now...
1. Chapter 1

**I got this idea when I watched this show once n thought I could do something with it.**

**I don't own Celebrity Jeopardy and Bleach. Sad thing isn't it. T-T**

Ichigo: Yo minna-san! Welcome to Bleach Jeopardy. The reason I'm doing this was because I was threatened. [Glances to Urahara who is backing away]

I hate you Urahara-san. Anyway I'm your host and let's meet the contestant shall we. Our first contestant is Ishida Uyruu with a negative of four thousand dollars

Uyruu: May you burn in hell Kurosaki!

Ichigo: NO CURSING ISHIDA! Next we have Kuchiki Byakuya with zero dollars.

Byakuya: …

Ichigo: Thank you Byakuya for not cur-

Byakuya: I finally know what your name means Kurosaki Ichigo.

Ichigo: What?

Byakuya: Black Strawberry.

Ichigo: … I hate you. Last of all we have Kurotsuchi Nemu with five dollars. I did not expect someone to have five dollars.

Nemu: I thought I had fifty dollars?

Ichigo: No, you did not.

Uryuu: Hey Kurosaki! What's the difference between you and a cold mallet?

Ichigo: I do not wish to kn-

Uryuu: One is a sitting duck, I can't remember how it ends but your mother is a whore.

Ichigo: My mother is in heaven, AND WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT CURSING AND SWEARING!!!! Anyway let's see the categories.

**Screen: Mad People, The month starts with Feb, What sound does a doggy make, Is it hot or cold and What zanpaktou command start's with scatter?**

Ichigo: Nemu since you are in the lead, you pick first.

Nemu: I'll have one bowl of porridge please.

Ichigo: That's not a category that's a take out order TT

Nemu: My mistake I shall choose Ishida-san than.

Ichigo: Erm…why did you choose him, he's not in the category?

Nemu: You said take out.

Ichigo: As in not a date. You know what lets just choose "**What zanpaktou command starts with scatter"**?

"**BEEP"**

Ichigo: K, Byakuya what zanpaktou is this?

Byakuya: SODE NO SHIRAYUKI!!!!

Ichigo: No

"**BEEP"**

Nemu: Beef.

Ichigo: That's not even a zanpaktou.

"**BEEP"**

Uryuu: Your mother.

Ichigo: WTH!!! Do you have a grudge against my mother, and the answer is wrong.

Ishida: Damn you Kurosaki!

"**DING"**

Ichigo: Time's up and the answer is Senbonzakura. Byakuya, it's your zanpaktou.

Byakuya: Ah huh! A trick question.

Ichigo: Yeah it's a trick question. [Sarcastically] Next category, Ishida you choose.

Uryuu: I'll choose "**What sound does a doggy make"**

Ichigo: For how much?

Uryuu: Surprise me you filthy bastard.

Ichigo: That's not necessary. "**What sound does a doggy make"** for eighty dollars. Lets see what you all wrote and Nemu you wrote "**Meow"**

Nemu: I saw a dog meowed in Mayuri-sama's lab three days ago.

Ichigo: I have no idea what life you have in there. Ishida you wrote, "**Moo"** and that's the wrong answer. Again.

Uryuu: Damn you and your questions! One day it will be my turn Kurosaki, one day!!!

Ichigo: You led a horrible life Ishida. And Byakuya you wrote, "**Talk"**. What makes you think dogs talk?

Byakuya: Komamura taicho.

Ichigo: to be honest, I agree with you.

"**DING"**

Ichigo: Sorry times up. The answer was "**Woof". **Finally we have our **"Final Jeopardy".** And the final category is **"Mad People" **all you have to do is to write the maddest shinigami in Soul Society. Just write a name who we all know he is crazy.

"**DING"**

Ichigo: Now let's see what all of you wrote. Byakuya, you wrote** "Yamamoto sou-taicho." **Why?

Byakuya: He gives us taichos' too much paperwork and our fukutaichos have personality issues.

Ichigo: You do know he is here right.

Byakuya: …?!

Ichigo: Hope you don't get demoted. Next Nemu wro-, WHY DID BOTH OF YOU WROTE THE SAME PERSON!!!!!!!

Nemu: He made Mayuri sama a captain.

Ichigo: I agree with you for that. Ishida let's see what you have wrote. You wrote…Ishida I hate you.

Uryuu: Admit it Kurosaki that you are crazy

Ichigo: You were supposed to write only one name.

Uryuu: How was I supposed to choose between you and Gaylord?

Ichigo: You know what I don't care. Thank you for watching _**Bleach Jeopardy**_, and I QUIT!

**If you r wondering who is Gaylord it is Mayuri XD**


	2. Game 2 Host:Hitsugaya Toshiro

Toshiro: Well…looks like I'll be your host today since Kurosaki quit. Anyway…let's introduce our contestant shall we. We have Sui-Feng with a negative twelve thousand dollars.

Sui-Feng: I have a cat push toy, a cat ear headband, a cat mask, a cat-

Toshiro: That's enough of cats Sui-Feng.

Sui-Feng: [continue to blab about her cat items]

Toshiro: Don't make me summon the dogs. [Takes out a remote]

Sui-Feng: …

Toshiro: Thank you. Next we have Hinamori Momo with negative five dollars.

Momo: Why did Aizen-Taicho betrayed us… [Wailing]

Toshiro: He was a bastard…and for the love of god…stop wailing! You sound like a whale, hell a whale sounds better than that!

Momo: You big meanie… [Sobs]

Toshiro: Shut the hell up Momo…or I'll feed you to the dogs. Last but not least, we have…oh god…Uryuu Ishida with ten cents. (AN: I do not really know their currency in yens.)

Uryuu: At least I'm first right shrimp.

Toshiro: That's nothing to be proud off and I'm not a shrimp!

Uryuu: Whatever shorty. [Smirk]

Toshiro: I hate you. Let's see the category shall we.

**Screen: Is That a Dog, Who Is Not a Shinigami, ****Whose zanpaktou command start's with Raise your Head and What is Uryuu father's name?**

Toshiro: Since Sui-Feng got the lowest point, let's be fair and let her choose first.

Sui-Feng: I'll choose "**Is That a Dog**" for one thousand cat food if you please?

Toshiro: We do not give cat food. Anyway…Is this a dog?" [Screen shows a picture of a poodle with an arrow pointing at it saying that it is a dog]

"**BEEP"**

Toshiro: That was fast, so what's the answer Sui-Feng?

Sui-Feng: That's a cat

Toshiro: Wrong

"**BEEP"**

Toshiro: Momo

Momo: Aizen-Taicho!

Toshiro: Does that dog even look like Aizen!

"**BEEP"**

Toshiro: What is it this time Sui-Feng? [Roll eyes]

Sui-Feng: Cat

Toshiro: Sui-Feng, what makes you think that it is a cat when I clearly stated that it was wrong!

Sui-Feng: Is it cat food then?

Toshiro: No

"**DING"**

Toshiro: Times up. And the answer is "**Yes**". How could you people get it wrong when the answer was on the arrow!

Uryuu: All of you people are blind!

Toshiro: You are no exception. You wear glasses and you did not even answer!

Uryuu: You must be too short to see the screen, need a stool to stand on?

Toshiro: No, thank you!Next, we shall let Momo choose.

Momo: I shall choose Aizen-Taicho for four thousand dollars

Toshiro: There is no Aizen-Taicho in the categories above

Momo: [Takes out four hundred dollars and passes it to Toshiro] Now do you have Aizen-Taicho on the screen?

Toshiro: [Takes money] No. Let's go with **"****Who is The Most Pathetic Shinigami" **for four thousand dollars shall we.

"**BEEP"**

Uryuu: That would be Hisagi-san.

Toshiro: Why?

Uryuu: When Rangiku submitted a survey giving a poor review to him serialized article for the Sereitei Communication Magazine, "Please Teach Me! Shūhei Sensei!", he refused to come out of the editor's office for three days.

Toshiro: Well…that is really pathetic…

Hisagi: Why Did You Write That Rangiku! [Depressed]

Toshiro: What the hell…get out of here Hisagi! [Hisagi got dragged away by Kira and Iba]

"**BEEP"**

Toshiro: Yes, what is it Momo?

Momo: The answer is Aizen-Taicho!

Toshiro: For the love of god…keep your mouth shut from now onwards Momo.

"**BEEP"**

Sui-Feng: I think I know the answer.

Toshiro: Does it have anything to do with cats? [Glare at her]

Sui-Feng: Yes.

Toshiro: Then keep your mouth shut.

"**DING"**

Toshiro: Oh, sorry times up and the answer is **"Hinamori Momo"**

Momo: Why me?

Toshiro: Well…Soul Society did a poll and you were ranked first followed by Hisagi for the Most Pathetic Shinigami here.

Momo: At least Grandma did not vote me for the Most Pathetic Shinigami.

Toshiro: Actually she did. [Took out the poll slip] Anyway let's go to final Jeopardy. And we have… **"****What is Uryuu father's name" **for three hundred dollars.

"**BEEP"**

Sui-Feng: It's Shihouin Yoruichi! [AN: I hope I spelt it correctly…]

Toshiro: No. Besides, she's a woman not a man!

"**BEEP" **

Toshiro: Let's just skip Momo. C'mon Ishida, he's your father…at least you should know his name…right?

Uryuu: I refuse to acknowledge him.

Ryuuken: Why exactly am I here? I thought I was trying to kill Ishin?

Toshiro: You were. But somehow you were brought here by Ishin last night.

Ryuuken: L…last night…I lost to Ishin…again…ISHIN! [Summons bow]

Uryuu: Wow…but I'm still not going to acknowledge him.

Toshiro: I'll give you ten dollars.

Uryuu: Okay, his name is Kapo!

Toshiro: WRONG! Anyway, who the hell is Kapo?

Uryuu: I have no idea… [Shrug]

Toshiro: I feel Kurosaki's pain now. You are going home and put a gun in my mouth. Have good luck finding your new host! [Shunpo off]


End file.
